Now that the bugle call has gone out to all the Christian ladies in the many contexts in which God has placed us, perhaps a closer look into what a “house despot” can mean is in order.

Let’s go back to that text from 1 Timothy 5:14 and the word “Oikodespoteo“.

The name of this community, though tongue-in-cheek and, frankly, HILARIOUS, is also quite literal. The word for despoteo (what would eventually become “despot”), translated “manage” in that text, is often translated “master” in the New Testament, and that is the entire goal of this website.

To inspire women to get excited about MASTERING their homes.

Whoever you are, whatever your life at this moment looks like — widow, young married woman, unmarried woman, mother — one thing is certain: you have been given a domain by your Maker.

YOU.

And that domain is YOURS.

Whether it’s an apartment in New York City, a homestead in Mississippi, or a duplex in Washington state, your domain, the home you wake up in every day, the sphere in which you dwell, is yours, and it’s yours to master.

Your domain is not your mother’s.

It’s not your friend’s.

And it’s certainly not that random-lady-on-the-internet’s, the one with the account that fills you with discontent, intimidation, second-guessing, and/or regret.

She has nothing to do with you. And you have nothing to do with her.

And yet…

“It would be so much easier to master my home if my house was as big as hers! No wonder her house is clean! Look at all that closet space!”

“She has never had screens in her home? And her children can make stained glass?! My kids can’t even read yet. I’ll never catch up…”

“She has a good relationship with her mother AND her mother-in-law and has help with the kids. My husband and I would have a better marriage if we could have date nights like them!”

John 21:22 contains one of the best cheerful slaps in the entire Bible, and is widely applicable when navigating the practicalities of our God-ordained duties: Peter the apostle, having just heard from Jesus about the kind of death by which he will glorify God, gestures to John and says “What about this man?”

The scene is reminiscent of when a child is told to do something difficult like take out the trash and they point to their brother and say “Well, what about him? Aren’t you going to give him a hard chore, too?”

Jesus answered Peter and said, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”

Now, apply this same admonition, but to the Christian women in the church and on the Instagrams: you are where you are, right now, and that lady you’re looking at is where she is, right now, and what is in front of both of you, and every single other Christian woman on the planet, is to wake up in YOUR domain, and master what YOU have been given.

She has more money? She has more help? She has a better relationship with her husband? She has a husband and you’re single and in your 30’s? She had lots of kids and you have not yet conceived?

“What is that to you??”

It is a great kindness from the Lord to peel our gaze off of that person over there and, instead, direct us to the specific work He is calling us to do TODAY.

Some of us know the ins-and-outs of that influencer’s life on Youtube, we know the meals she makes, the way she does birthdays, the books she reads to her kids, and the kind of clothes she wears, but we aren’t studying our own lives, at all, unless its the many ways we are not measuring up!

This is foolish, its a waste of time, and is a stellar way to tear DOWN a house rather than building it up.

So, dear lady. Take a good look at your own life.

Who are you? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are your strengths? How has God made YOU? What kind of house do you live in? How many square feet do you have to work with? What kind of climate do you have and what kind of flowers will grow there? What obvious thing do you need to do today? What tasks are right in front of your face?

If you’re married, what does YOUR husband like? What does he want your house to look like? What kind of food does he like to eat? How would he spend the family’s free time if he could choose?

If you have children, what does YOUR child like? What fills their tank the best? If you homeschool, what kind of schedule best fits into your everyday life? What educational opportunities are available to you if you don’t? What kind of meal plan will help nourish the needs of your specific children and husband?

And what about your own backyard? What resources are at YOUR fingertips, in your church, in your town, in your state? Sure, that one lady is really passionate about the raw milk she gets from the local dairy, but…is there a local dairy even near you? Will it cost you gas money that you can’t afford? And that other lady, the one who lives in Massachusetts! Her kid is on a rowing team, and he looks really happy about it, happier than your kid looks. But…DO YOU LIVE NEAR A BOAT AT ALL?? And then there’s that homesteading lady that got bees and is harvesting her own honey that will help with her family’s allergies! But…your husband is allergic to bees! You can’t have bees, okay?!

We could do this all day, but hopefully the point has been made: there are a thousand different ways a woman can strive to “master the home”, and many ideas will be shared here in the future for how to explore that, but one of the best places to start is to STOP.

Stop trying to master someone else’s idea of home and shoving it and squishing it and forcing it and, worst of all, worrying incessantly about it, when it just. doesn’t. fit. your. domain.

Master your house, oh House Despot…

by mastering YOUR house.